Recently, I was watching a Tom Brokaw special on CNBC about Boomers, and one of the ladies he interviewed said something that stuck with me through the whole special. She said that the days of loading your kids in your SUV and driving them across the state in full uniform to play sports may be over and that parents are going to be playing in their backyards with their children again.
The whole statement resonated with me, but the word “with” is what really stood out. So many times we find ourselves doing things to or for our children and not with them. Making dinner for them, taking them to ballet practice, or driving them to the mall are all examples of things that end up consuming parents’ daily routines, but are these things what our kids really want? They are really searching for time to be spent with us.
Spending time with your children is something that seems so simple, yet many of us probably cannot remember the last time we took an hour from the day, asked the children what they wanted to do, and then did it with them. I took the challenge on with my two young girls.
Isabella is 4, and she wanted to play her new Tinkerbell Leapster game. In the back of my mind I was thinking this wasn’t going to be very much fun, staring at a small screen and painting butterflies different colors. But, she was so excited that I sat down with her and gave her my complete attention. The game was easy, so it wasn’t as if I had to learn to work the remote or figure out a bunch of buttons. We just sat right next to each other picking the different colors to make each butterfly wing and had fun talking to each other about other things we could do in the future when the real butterflies might be outside flying around. She is having a bit of trouble understanding the concept of time, so after trying to explain when spring will be here, we just compromised on eleventeen weeks from now.
My 2-year- old, Lola, is not quite as good at verbalizing what she wants. So, when I asked her what she wanted to do, she went to the cabinet and got a packet of oatmeal and grabbed a bowl from our dish-drying rack. So our hour of fun started with eating a bowl of maple and brown sugar oatmeal (which didn’t take long) and then moved to the question of what else she would like to do. I think she may have been a bit confused because at times we are in such a rush that that is where our together time may have stopped. But, on that day, I was determined to get our hour of fun in. She thought for a minute and finally said “playground” which is what she calls our swing set in the backyard. In the past I have taken a magazine out and read it between pushing them or taking a couple of pictures, but this time I was going to play. Once again, I was amazed at how much fun I could have running around the yard, going down the slide, and swinging back and forth.
So we have 168 hours each week to plan. Therefore, taking an hour out for each child you have will not throw off your productivity much. It will, however, make you and your children happier. At least that is what I found during my experiment. At some point I will not have to be so intentional about it, but either way we are spending time together.
As the weather warms up, spring approaches, and ISTEP testing ends, take a break from looking for activities you think your children want you to take to and start thinking of things you can do with them. Take time and ask them what they would like. You may find decorating butterflies and sliding down the slide is not only good for your children, but also good for you.
